Posts Tagged ‘Cracking the Male Code of Office Behavior

12
Feb
11

why is this MY problem?

Just read Cracking the Male Code of Office Behavior, from last Sunday’s New York Times, which discusses Shaunti Feldhahn’s book “The Male Factor: the Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace.”

The point of the book, and the article, is to describe how men work, think, and behave as compared to how women work, think, and behave, and to offer suggestions to women as to how they can best position themselves for promotion and advancement. Shaunti says: “Women who want to avoid hidden traps and break through the glass ceiling need to know how to shape the way men perceive them.”

We are advised that women should try to shut down their emotional responses to things like criticism, be careful not to push their own ideas too hard, and to try to avoid any implications of personality conflicts with any of their coworkers, as this will “. . .cause men to view that worker as less business-savvy and less experienced,” or even downright illogical. We should also realize that men are, by nature, quite insecure, and to take care to avoid inadvertently “hitting a nerve” so that the man won’t become defensive.

Ironically, male managers are often put out by women who try to be just like men — “it’s . . . distracting.”

Are you wordIcan’tsay kidding me?

Now, I’m not saying this isn’t true, mind you. I believe, in fact, that this is exactly what happens to a lot of women everywhere. But why is this OUR problem? Why aren’t men being asked to take steps to crack the “female code” of office behavior? Did we all get together at some point and decide THEIR way was the BETTER way? Trust me, if I had been at that meeting, I would remember it. And does anyone else sense the ludicrousness of asking women to shape their actions “just enough,” because, God forbid you go too far and try to be just like a man.

But wait, isn’t that what they were just asking for?

And THEY say WE’RE not logical.




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