spot on, mostly

Been spending the past couple of weeks dealing with life after the death of my dad, following closely on the heels of the death of my mom in August.

Trying to decide the best way to spend my energy; whether I should: continue in the work I’m in, try to write a story or a novel or put together a book of poetry or take a painting class, yoga more often or train for 5K or both, keep blogging or stop blogging, etc. etc.

But here are a few funny moments/discoveries to share.


Valentine’s Morning

Little boxed rose plant sits on Husband’s placemat with a little hand-torn heart and a lovey-note written in pink pen. He is bustling around the kitchen making coffee and pouring cereal and chattering away about what a lame holiday Valentine’s Day is, how pathetic those people are who think they can make up for a year of benign neglect and/or indifference, how cynical the Hallmark company is for creating such a holiday to play on people’s guilt, etc. etc. I sit at my place, eating my eggs, watching him, smiling.

He comes over to the table with his breakfast, and says, “Oh! What’s this, then? How sweet.”





We were discussing the ridiculousness of how we can’t seem to agree in this country that nobody actually needs to be able to go and buy an assault rifle. Husband remembers this little gem from Eddie Izzard. (Don’t ask me about the clothes and the makeup while he makes no attempt to change the clearly-I’m-actually-a-man timbre of his voice. I have no idea.)



And I don’t really make it a habit to include advertisements for pickup trucks in my blog, but this was played during the Superbowl, as my family was sitting around writing the eulogy for my Dad. And it sums up my dad, and what kind of a man he was, quite nicely. I can’t watch it without crying.

A little story first, which basically sums up his, and my, parenting style.

I was probably 10 or 11 years old, and went out with some siblings to hoe one of the potato fields. I, in my infinite wisdom, (and given my propensity not to wear shoes unless I absolutely had to, which persists to this day), went out to hoe barefoot. Of course, I hoed my big toe pretty badly, and limped back with the toe all bloody and crusted with dirt, blubbering and looking for sympathy. Dad takes a look at me, looks down at my bleeding foot and says, “Hoeing barefoot, huh? That’s not very smart.”

Nope. Not very. And you were exactly right, and exactly right to say so. Miss you.


8 Responses to “spot on, mostly”

  1. February 17, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    …continue in the work I’m in, try to write a story or a novel or put together a book of poetry or take a painting class, yoga more often or train for 5K or both, keep blogging or stop blogging, etc. etc.
    Yeah, all of those things sound good to me. For obvious reasons, the personal selfish interests of all us readers would dictate that you choose “keep blogging” over “stop blogging“, but I can understand how (public) blogging might take too much energy away from higher priority areas of focus.

    • February 18, 2013 at 3:25 pm

      I really enjoy the conversations that ensue, just not developing the readership as much as I had hoped and wondering if my time would be better spent elsewhere.

  2. February 17, 2013 at 5:07 pm

    Thanks for the Eddie Izzard clip. His style has changed over the years, but he’s always made a point of cross-dressing and being totally straight. Hence the “normal” delivery. His stand-up usually includes a reference to jam, Jeff and/or Yemen (where he was born). He sometimes even does his shows in French (recently in the US too, I believe). Check out his classic “Darth Vader ordering lunch in the canteen” sketch. Only he could bring Darth Vader, wet trays in a canteen and peas up tubes of penne arrabiata together so seamlessly.

  3. February 18, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    I’m so very sorry for your two, most significant losses. I imagine this will be quite a year of reflection and nostalgia and new self-discovery for you. I love your Valentine’s Day anecdote – so romantic!

    • February 18, 2013 at 3:28 pm

      Just hoping to stop feeling so incredibly sad sometime soon. As soon as I have a day where I feel like I can actually deal with my life, it is followed by a day where I feel like I really can’t, and don’t really even feel like trying. I’d hide under my bed, but it’s one of those Japanese ones that are way too close to the floor.

      (So then I decide to escape a bit by watching what little good television there is out there, and they kill off one of my favorite people. Not helping!!!)

      • February 20, 2013 at 12:02 am

        Maybe not soon; it can take a long time for the sadness to not be all-consuming. I’ve found that getting your hands dirty can help – is the earth thawed out enough where you live that you can get down on your knees and dig?

        • February 20, 2013 at 9:00 am

          Not unless I want to dig through 4 inches of snow and frozen ground. Sigh. The Farmer’s Almanac is predicting a cold, crappy, snowy winter for the “Great Lakes Region” through March. Grrrr.

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