beach sex, aka why bother?

And no, I’m not referring to it being a waste of time, or too much sand, or ILLEGAL.

Why bother writing thoughtful, insightful posts, with embedded video and attributed photos? Why spend the time to write about The Things That Matter, when most of the people-who-are-not-already-followers who seem to show up at my blog are drawn by the results of their searches for:

There’s one picture of a couple playing Scrabble at a nude beach. You can’t see anything. Get over it!

I don’t write about, post pictures of, condone, nor encourage any of the following: sex on the beach, beach sex, sex on beach, sex in beach (wha?), or naked sunburn in Italy (wha? wha?)

I’m going right now and deleting that post. If there is anybody left tomorrow I’ll keep writing.

why not take advantage of every possible opportunity

to raise our children to think in a “sexist” way.

Today’s opportunity, listed in my neighborhood’s “Community Enrichment Classes” brochure, for youth and their “favorite significant adult.” (INMTU*)

For girls: Sweetheart swirl.

For boys: Competitive Game Fest.

Guess the girls don’t like to play games and is it any wonder men won’t dance.

She looks like she’d like to play.

(Click on the picture to see a sampling of what Bing thinks someone looking for a picture of a “Girl in a Football Uniform” is most likely to be looking for. Wonder if the one has anything to do with the other.)

Sheesh.

*I’m Not Making This Up

never again

Bought a hooded tunic from what I believed to be a high-quality catalogue, made from what I believed to be a high-quality fabric. Wore it for 10 minutes, found a hole in the shoulder.

Here is me, working with someone in customer service at Blue Canoe, trying to get an exchange: (Warning: Don’t start down this road unless you have a lot of time.)

 

10-17

Dear Customer Service–

 I have a problem with my order. One of the items – the V-Neck Hooded Tunic (Item #M526-LEA) has a hole in the shoulder.

I would like an exchange, but am more than a little concerned about the quality of this item, especially considering its cost.

Can you advise me on whether this is an anomaly, or if I should just return it?

 

10-19

Hello –

I asked the owner Yes, it’s an anomaly.  We do have quality control and try to catch flaws, please send back the item.

Thank you,

Blue Canoe

 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2012 11:49 AM

To: Blue Canoe
Subject: Re: Order #1—
It’s on its way. I do love the garment — can you reserve a replacement for it?
Thank you.

 

On Oct 19, 2012, at 5:04 PM, Blue Canoe wrote:

Currently, we have M526-LEA Small (1), Medium(1),  Large (1), & XL 3). But, we are suppose to re-stock today, but I don’t see new number in the system yet. No, Blue Canoe can not guarantee that the next V-neck Hooded Tunic will not have a hole.  Here at Customer Service, we do not have access to the Warehouse to eye-ball and check items before they ship. Quality Control does its best to check by batch.  But, you are welcome to return the item if you find another flaw.  Hopefully, if you do re-order there will be no flaw when you receive and view the V-Neck Hooded Tunic
Blue Canoe

 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2012 2:55 PM
To: Blue Canoe
Subject: Re: Order #1—
I had the Large in the green.
Can you automatically generate an exchange when you receive it from me, or do I need to do something else?

 

On Oct 19, 2012, at 6:00 PM, Blue Canoe wrote:

I can include an exchange when I receive your M526-LEA-L in the mail.
What Size in the exchange do you want?  Another M526-LEA-L?   or a different size?

 

Sent: Friday, October 19, 2012 3:04 PM
To: Blue Canoe
Subject: Re: Order #1—
Large please. 
Thank you.

 

On Oct 19, 2012, at 6:25 PM, Blue Canoe wrote:

Okay,  I’ll make a note M526-LEA-L. when I get your return order in the mail.

Blue Canoe Customer Service

 

Sent: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 12:00 PM

To: Blue Canoe

Subject: Re: Order #1—

Hi there-

Just checking to see if you have received my return and/or processed the exchange. (I was hoping to have the top for a trip I’m leaving on tomorrow. . . No sign of it yet.)

 

On Oct 30, 2012, at 2:13 PM, Blue Canoe wrote:

It looks like your CC was credited $99.11 (which includes $4.16 Refund Shipping Cost for Return Flawed Hole In Shoulder of V-Neck Hood) on Oct. 24th 2012.  [it wasn't] But, I don’t see a order put in for another M526-LEA-L.  I don’t think any delivery package will get to you (even in RUSH order) because of remenance [sic] of Superstorm Sandy.

Inventory shows M526-LEA-L  (3 in-stock). Do you still want that order item put in?

Blue Canoe Customer Service

 

Sent: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 12:19 PM

To: Blue Canoe

Subject: Re: Order #1—

I do — from your previous email (cited below) I thought you were going to process an exchange right away.

On Oct 30, 2012, at 3:28 PM, Blue Canoe wrote:

I can explain how it was overlooked.  I did check your order profile and a exchange order was not entered. If you still want the V-Neck Hoody, let me know.

Blue Canoe Customer Service

 [Does this explain anything? It doesn't seem so , but maybe it's just me.]

 

Sent: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 6:34 PM

To: Blue Canoe

Subject: Re: Order #1— 

I do.

 

On October 31, 2012, Blue Canoe wrote:

I will add M526-LEA-L  as soon as our system is up. Currently, it’s down.  I will let you know when it is reserved.

Blue Canoe Customer Service

 

Sent: Friday, November 02, 2012 3:15 PM

To: Blue Canoe

Subject: Re: Order #1—

I am not seeing this credit on my account. Was it cancelled out by the exchange? Or am I missing something?

On Nov 5, 2012, at 11:09 AM, Blue Canoe wrote:

Hello ,

I have sent an email to the person who does the charging out & refund crediting. I see in out order system that it has already credited $99.11 on Oct 24th including your $4.16 for Return Shipping Cost.  Transactions sometimes take time in entering into our payment system depending on who’s charging & crediting (is in the order of) but I have sent the email to the person who handles this and hopeful will her from soon.

Your credit of $99.11 – I see no notes on the credit being applied to your exchange order for the M526-LEA-L V-Neck Hoody.   Did you want it the credit to be applied to your exchange order?   I don’t recall you specifying for it to be applied to your exchange order.  Otherwise, I would have noted.  Please let me know.  Otherwise, my co-worker will credit the $99.11 & $4.16. to your current card and your exchange order will be charged for the exchange order.

Thanks,

Blue Canoe

Sent: Monday, November 05, 2012 8:31 AM

To: Blue Canoe

Subject: Re: Order #1—

I would prefer an exchange. I just want to be sure what I get credited equals what I get charged.

 

 

Sent: November 5, 2012

$94.95  Is your order Amount for the M526-LEA-M  -  V-Neck Hoody

Our company usually takes the return credit and apply it to the exchange order.

Your Credit is    $99.11  (Credit)

$94.95  (Order Amount)

$ 4.16   (Remaining Credit)   You Don’t have to Use Your Credit Card To Purchase Your Exchange.

Is that okay with you. Or, do you still want us to credit your credit card $94.95 + $4.16(Return Ship Cost) separately from your exchange order. Meaning will we charge your card (without using return credit) for the exchange order. Applying the credit is usually customary.  But, if you want to see the actual credit return to your credit card I can ask for that.  That charge your card for the exchange order.

Blue Canoe Customer Service

 

 

SERIOUSLY? Clearly this “customer service” person is in another country — the grammar misusages sound like somewhere Asian.  This doesn’t seem like something that should be this difficult.

Sheesh. And never again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’ll like it whether you like it or not

A facebook friend apparently clicked “Like” on this picture today, and since I can’t seem to convince all of my fb friends to change their settings to “Friends Only” on all of their posts and comments, it showed up on my fb wall.

This poor young man. What a truly awful thing. I feel such sadness and regret for him, and fear that his father died fighting “for our country” in a situation in which maybe we didn’t belong in the first place.

I would like very much to show my sympathy for this young man, and respect for his father.

But do I need to be bullied into it?

First of all, I find the practice of “Liking” posts or pictures of sad, tragic, horrible things somewhat oxymoronic, if not simply moronic.

And then there’s the last sentence.

Keep scrolling to say I don’t care.

Seriously? Those are my only options?

 

Richard Mourdock’s “Intentions”

So Republican candidate Richard Mourdock “struggled” with himself over this, and this was his conclusion.

As I read the first sentence, I convince myself that it’s not without a Zen kind of logic — you know, trying to find or make  something good out of something bad, stuff like that. And then I get to the next sentence. And now this is God’s intention. Allow me just to say that if his God thought it was appropriate to cause someone to be RAPED so as to create a child then this is a God I want nothing to do with.

There has to be a better way.

Click here to sign a petition telling him what an idiot he is, to keep on struggling, that rape is violence, and not some form of divine intervention.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Read this.

Just two questions:

1.  How can a woman be a Republican any more than a woman can be a Muslim?

2. “Forcible” rape? As opposed to the other kind?

This paragraph in particular stands out to me:

“What is very disturbing to me is that people like Mr. Akin who have postulated this secret mechanism for avoiding pregnancy have developed their own make-believe world of science based on entirely self-serving beliefs of convenience or just ignorance,” he said. “I don’t think we want these people to be responsible for the lives of others.”

Sounds too much like too many versions of religion.

Ugh.

speaking of missing the point

Epicurious.com’s version of a croissant “recipe.”

And I don’t think they were being ironic.

Kind of like the jokes about how to make a million dollars or win a Tony.

Haven’t read far enough down yet to know what I need unscented garbage bags for. Not sure I want to.

Feeling a little like I’ve stumbled into some kind of parallel universe where “recipe” actually means “joke.”

Open Letter to LGBTQ-phobic Pastor Sean Harris

Reblogged from Raising My Rainbow:

Homophobic North Carolina preacher Sean Norris recently gave a sermon in which he advocated physically assaulting gender variant toddlers.  Listen to it here.  This letter is my response to him.

Dear Pastor Harris,

Hi.  I’m C.J.’s Mom and boy would you hate me!  I have a little boy who likes “feminine” things and I’ve allowed him to do so.  I’ve even shared it with people on the internet. 

Read more… 399 more words

Bad enough that he says this. Even more horrifying that there are people in the "congregation" saying Amen and laughing. There is no hope. Punch your toddler boy who acts "girlish" and tell your girl that her primary role is to look pretty? I'd like to punch him in the nose. Asshole. And look at his wife, there, smiling. Criminy. Maybe somebody should punch her in the nose, too, just for encouraging him by her presence.

today’s Bible study

Today’s old-testament reading was from Exodus.

Moses and the Israelites have been wandering in the desert for 38.5 years.

They’re complaining, just a little.

(Big surprise, eh?)

They’re basically tired of wandering, perpetually lost, hungry, and thirsty, and bored with the limited menu: namely manna, quail, and water from a rock. Perhaps a little variety would be nice: maybe some salmon? a nice green salad? would a little fruit — some strawberries, or perhaps a handful of grapes, be too much to ask? all washed down with a nice, under-oaked Chardonnay?

ANYway, God hears enough of their incessant whining, and sends poisonous snakes among them. (Let THAT be a lesson to you.)

I can honestly say, in all these years of having children complaining about what they are being fed for dinner, I never thought of this.

 

Murakami, and why I won’t be reading him anymore; UPDATED

I had this all written this morning, (some of my best work,) and when I went to insert the picture I lost the whole post. (Ain’t technology grand?) I’m still not sure I have the heart to start over. But here goes.

***********

Still taking a break from The Street Sweeper, although I plan on finishing it. Instead, though, I just read Murakami’s Norwegian Wood. Supposedly his readership went into the millions with the publication of this book, but I can’t really figure out how, unless it was high schoolers looking for the sex scenes.

Ugh.

Toru is a “preternaturally serious” student. In case we miss this by the fact that he has very few friends, and spends all of his time going to class, doing his homework, and working at his job at a “lame” record store (is there a geekier job than working at a “lame” record store?), the few friends he does interact with can’t seem to stop telling him how “strange” he is, or how “strange” he talks, even when what he says seems perfectly normal.

In this way, Murakami seems to demonstrate very little faith in his readers. Another example: Toru travels to visit the young woman he truly loves, Naoko, who has secluded herself in the mountains of northern Japan at an idyllic mental institution retreat recovering from the emotional trauma of first her older sister’s, then her long-term boyfriend’s, suicides. (There is a lot of suicide in this book; it seems to be the solution of choice in Murakami’s Japan; and surprisingly, many of those who commit suicide in this story don’t seem to have demonstrated any signs of emotional or psychological instability beforehand.) The line between patient and doctor is particularly blurry — when Toru first meets Naoko’s roommate, she is introduced as “Dr.” because she teaches music to some of the patients; a fellow patient wears a white coat and makes his “rounds” from table to table at mealtimes expounding on arcane topics. The “patients” live calm, idyllic lives, eating prepared meals, living in austere yet comfortable houses, performing “meaningful” menial tasks. Many patients stay for years. In case the insidiousness of this is lost on us, Toru just happens to have a copy of Thomas Mann’s Magic Mountain in his backpack. “How could you bring a book like that to a place like this?” Reiko asks him. How indeed?

And then there’s the sex.

Murakami is clearly trying to write the way the teenagers/twenty-somethings talk about, think about, sex. But I don’t think he’s very good at it. It’s too self-aware, too self-conscious, too proper. And that’s not the worst part. Besides the fact that, except for Toru, none of the men treat their girlfriends very well, the women themselves seem to have no sexual desire, no needs, no agency, of their own. (Update: Actually, this isn’t true, I somehow forgot one twist to the story. There is one “woman” with sexual desire and agency, she just happens to be a “pathologically lying” 13-year old girl who tries to seduce Reiko during one of the girl’s piano lessons. An event so traumatic it triggers Reiko’s latest psychological break. And, as far as I can tell from the story, the only lie the girl has told is after her seduction fails, and she reports that Reiko tried to seduce her. Apparently the idea of a 13 year old girl being sexually assertive and/or curious, or that she would spitefully lie about it later, is too bizarre for Murakami to consider.)

But back to the rest of them:

Naoko is a virgin when her long-term boyfriend commits suicide; apparently she was unable to, well, open herself to him. Naoko and Toru have one apparently mutually-satisfying sexual encounter, immediately after which she disappears and checks herself into the rehabilitation center. (There’s a ringing endorsement.) When Toru visits, Naoko services him in various ways, (Ugh), but waves off his offers of reciprocity.

Toru’s one male friend at university sleeps with dozens of women, despite having a beautiful, accomplished, intelligent young woman as a girlfriend. This girlfriend apparently knows about his philanderings, but tolerates them, claiming that she loves him and this is just what he must do. Reportedly she, too, will commit suicide, around four years after the end of this particular story.

While Toru waits patiently for Naoko to decide she can return to society, he is befriend by Midori, a “sexually liberated” young woman in one of his drama classes. They are physically attracted to each other, but are unwilling to consummate the relationship because she is “trying” to be faithful to her boyfriend (this is Murakami’s version of “sexually liberated”? That a twenty-something young woman has sex with her boyfriend?), despite the fact that the boyfriend criticizes the way she talks, the way she dresses.

And then there’s Reiko. Reiko is in her 30s, and, perhaps as an outward symbol of her long-term struggle with mental illness, is apparently extremely wrinkled. Reiko comes to visit Toru in Tokyo after (spoiler alert) Naoko’s suicide (see?), finally leaving the “center” after 8 years, on her way to teach music lessons in yet another secluded location. They cook together, and then make love, four times, in one evening. The first two are strictly for Toru, iykwim*; but afterwards, she lies in bed, eyes dewy, and declares: “I never have to do this again, for the rest of my life.”

Seriously?

Ugh.

The next day, Reiko departs, and Toru calls Midori, telling her that “all [he] wants in the world is [her].”

Funny way of showing it, but whatever.

*if you know what I mean